hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
