I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
