Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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