Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
