Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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