My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
