and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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