you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
