I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
