Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
