I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
