I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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