DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
