Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
