I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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