hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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