I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
