Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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