I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you win again, gameday.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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