When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
