i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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