i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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