Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
