i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
