Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
