My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
