NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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