I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
