I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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