Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
