so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
