Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I believe in your delicious
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
