Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
