im holly from the hills drunk
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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