Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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