Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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