He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
