I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
