Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
