Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
