His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
