you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
