Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
