her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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