Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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