Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she peed on how many people?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
