I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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