so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
