We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
