Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
