so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
