I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
